Published: September 24, 2016   Updated: December 16, 2016

A live interview (recorded September 24th, 2016) with sexuality educator and facilitator Karen Rayne. Karen has a PhD in Educational Psychology, is the sexuality education chair for the National Sex Ed Conference, and author of Breaking the Hush Factor: Ten rules for talking with teenagers about sex. In this interview Meg Bolger and Sam Killermann of FacilitatingXYZ dig to Karen’s most challenging facilitating experiences, answering questions intended to shock, what she looks for in future facilitators and more.

To find Karen’s work at and Or connect with her on Facebook!

Show Index

Karen Rayne’s intro
How does Karen see facilitation plays a role in unhushing conversations about sexuality?
What makes a sexuality conversation accessible or not?
What do you do to not let an emotional block get in the way?
How does it change Karen’s approach to assume everybody has got a block?
How does Karen keep doing this work and bring the same excitement and energy to it?
The most intense class Karen has ever facilitated.
How did Karen navigate such an intense experience without the skills she wanted to have?
How to slow down in the moment when that isn’t your instinctive response.
What is holding the space?
Common mistakes people make that they don’t realize break a space.
What do things that sex educators do really well that all facilitators can learn from?
How does Karen navigate answering shocking questions (saying “I don’t know”)?
How Karen answered and addressed, “What is a lap dance, please demonstrate?”
Regardless of the intention of the question, there is always the potential to learn.
What are the key skills Karen looks for when selecting someone to be a sex educator?

Rapid Fire Questions

Three words to describe facilitation.
Something you need to be reminded of as a facilitator?
If you could assign one group norm for the entire world what would it be? 
What stresses you out as a facilitator?
What piece of facilitation advice would give your 5-year-ago-self?
What is the most unique place you’ve facilitated?
What is a not-facilitation-related experience every facilitator should have?
What books do you recommend to others?
What online resources do you recommend to others?
One piece of advice for anyone listening? 


Coming! Youtube auto-transcribed closed captions available now.

Written by FacilitatingXYZ Team

This is the account that the FacilitatingXYZ team uses. FacXYZ is co-facilitated by Meg and Sam, and brings in expertise, knowledge, and lived experience from facilitators far and wide. Read more about us here.

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